Crux
by zulka
Summary: [TalaxJulia Oneshot] I’ll live in my house of ice and remember a princess from the sun. Who would have loved me…if I had let her.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Beyblade or its characters. If this story looks or sounds like anything you have written or read it is purely coincidental. This is the disclaimer for the entire story.

**Dedication:** Lamanth and one day someone besides you and I will write a TalaxJulia. Just watch. One day.

**Crux  
**_Beyblade Fanfiction  
__by: Angel del Silencio  
__TalaxJulia_

One-shot

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Yuriy had always been quiet and reserved. It was his nature. The hardships of his life that made him so and I never asked him not to be. No it wouldn't be my place. For what right did I have in asking such a thing? I didn't. He was the way he was because adversity had made him thus and I loved him just like that. No not loved but rather love. I still do and won't stop till death come and take me to Pluto's realm. But even then in eternity I think I'll love him more. 

It's just that this love that seems to grow with every second that passes by hurts me more and more because I know that never will I have him fully. He belongs to memories of his childhood and to that majestic wolf. I won't lie. There are times when I'm jealous of that great wolf. He holds a part of Yuriy that I will never have. It hurts because sometimes he just shuts me out. This love just grows and grows but I feel like I'm dying slowly.

I'm fading away and eroding slowly as the wind carries me away. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I never expected it to be. But I guess that somewhere in my mind I thought myself as his savior. Not a smart thing to think. I know. But he just seemed so cold and lonely that day that I…I thought that maybe I could be.

It wasn't love that drew me to him. No. It was curiosity. I was curious about this great red-head. This red-head that was sitting alone watching waves crash upon the shore. This red-head that was staring at some distant past or future as his hair was tossed in the wind but he didn't seem to care.

He seemed so distant and so unapproachable like a black hole. He would suck me in and I would be lost forever. I heard Thunder Pegasus whispering warnings in my ears. Perhaps I would die a death but my mind was unreasonable. It didn't listen and I approached.

I fell right in. Into those cold ice blue eyes that burn you with frostiness. Into hands and arms that welcomed me. Into a tortured soul and mind that wanted redemption and without knowing how or why I started loving him. I love that lost look he gives me sometimes, that look that asks for kindness and understanding but I can't have him and it hurts.

Perhaps I lived in a fantasy and only now am I waking up. But if it is a fantasy or some dream I know that I don't want to wake up. I want to stay in his arms and hug him tightly to me so that we can melt together and become one. Then we wouldn't have to worry anymore. Then I wouldn't have to share him. He would be mine and I would be his.

It's selfish I know. He has known that wolf ever since he was a child. It was the wolf that stayed with him when his mother abandoned him, when his father abused him, when he ran away and lived in the cold streets of Russia where he met Bryan, before Boris took them in…when he changed his name to Tala. It was the wolf not me.

It saddens me and I want to cry as I look at you. My heart feels so heavy and it only aches more as I see the wounded look on your face. But what do you want me to do? I've confessed an everlasting love. A love that for you seems to be ending at this moment and it only manages to break me more. I feel like I'm breaking into a million little pieces.

I imagined myself along with you like that old couple we saw a few days ago. Old, married and perhaps with grandchildren. But I know now that it's impossible especially when it comes to you. I wanted for you and me to be an "us"! I wanted so many things. But most of all I just want you. I want Yuriy, I want Tala, I want cyborg-Tala, I want whoever 'you' is. But you won't allow me that. You close yourself up in that ice garden with frozen dreams and goals.

I don't want to change you because then you wouldn't be you. You wouldn't be Yuriy or Tala…you would be some stranger. But I guess its ok because we already are strangers. We treat each other as if we've never met. It's as if we barely met yesterday.

When we wake up in the morning its no longer Julia or Yuriy, its some guy that slept beside me or its some girl that slept beside me. Who knows who she or he is. That's what it is. That's how it is now and it leaves me feeling hollow inside.

I know that if it's hurting me then it must be hurting you. But in my anger and hurt I want to ignore that. Because if I take it into account I know I won't be able to leave you…and then…then I'll die.

You stand up and walk right past me as if I were a ghost or some girl that doesn't even deserve a glance from you…and it hurts. It hurts so much I want to turn and yell at you. I want to crumple down.

But I won't do that. I am stronger than that. I am Julia and I know when I'm not wanted and I know that I need to leave because as much as I love you…you'll never be mine. So I gather all the strength I can find in this broken heart I pick up my bag and slowly walk to the door. Opening the door I feel like an autumn leaf being shaken by the wind. I want to turn back but I know that my decision will waver if I do and so without a glimpse…without turning back I walk away. I walk away from you. I walk away from a man I thought I knew.

I wanted you…I truly did. I loved you but perhaps…perhaps I did try to tame you just so I could keep you and I forgot about something important. A wolf will always remain wild.

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I knew it wouldn't last. I knew it couldn't last. I had no right to have you. I couldn't have something as bright and sunny as you locked in a house of frost. You would have eventually wilted and then…then I would have been alone again.

So I smile ruefully as I hear the car leave. Looking at my hand I see the small velvet box. I had planned on proposing years ago. But I knew that I couldn't hold you here. Like rays of sunshine you would have faded with the night…with the frost.

You fell in love with a ghost. You fell in love with the person that died the moment he ran away from home. So I decided to let you go…so that you can shine. As much as I want to keep you for myself I know I can't. So I pushed you away…and let you go. I'll live in my house of ice and remember a princess from the sun, who would have loved me…if I had let her.

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the end

**Author's Note**: This one-shot is long over due but I hadn't had time to finish it but finally I got it done!! Well, Lamanth I hope you like it! I dunno what else to say. Well peoples read and review!  
thanks

angel.del.silencio


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